Best Ranch Dressing Ever!

So it turns out that I cannot live without RANCH dressing!  I’ve always loved it and am probably in the category of Ranch snob.  A good or bad ranch can make or break a salad or wings or pickle chips.  I actually have ordered “sauce” for my kids chicken and stolen it for myself so I wouldn’t have to pay extra.

Once I figured out that my 20 year journey of migraines to tune of 3 days a week all came from what I put in and on my body, Ranch became even more important to me.  I mean if you’re telling me I can’t eat grain and sugar I have to have a happy place and for me it was dipping everything in RANCH!

As a general rule around here if you can’t pronounce it we don’t put it in or on our body!  Ya’ll it’s hard!  There was about 6 months of hating life.  It was not uncommon that I would lose it at a restaurant if all I could eat was meat and veggies and they didn’t have Ranch, even worse if it was bad Ranch.  So I began to make Ranch. SO many steps and it took forever.  It was amazing but took so long.  It felt like every healthy decision took so much more time.  Yes this is what I have …TIME.  4 kids, hundreds of animals, school, soccer, church.  I would go without some weeks and then suck it up and make a batch.  All the chopping made me crazy and made a huge mess.

I’m here to tell you I have found a way to make THE RANCH without the mess and without the time without the unpronounceable ingredients!  Please tell me why you need all these chemicals to make the yummy ranch!!?

I will be attempting a dairy free version but for now I have THE RANCH!

Keep in mind we have 6 people in this house, all of which love THE RANCH!

I grab 6 green onions and cut off the white part, a bushel of cilantro and I just tear the stems off (and save both the cilantro stems and white parts of the green onions), 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tsp of paprika, 1 tsp of dried dill, 2 tbsp of dried parsley (you could use fresh but I didn’t have any), and 1 tsp of pink Himalayan sea salt.

SIDE NOTE:  I put my white parts of onions in a cup and add a little of water. They keep growing.  I feel a little like I’m cheating when I do this but the cheap part of me trumps the guilty part ?  I also save all my veggie trimmings for my delicious bone broth that it so good for you gut and joints!

Next I throw it all in my Bullet blender.  Pulse a few times.  I don’t think you can over do this step. Y’all not more chopping or mess!!  Is it sad that this brings me so much joy?

I add a tbsp of worchestire sauce (you can substitute balsamic vinegar or coconut aminos here) and 1 tbsp of white wine vinegar. My absolute favorite is from Trader Joes.  It’s Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar.

I add 3 cups of Mayo and 1.5 cups of sour cream.  Blend again and taste test.  You now have 2 large mason jars full of heaven!

I like to keep it thick and dilute with milk for individual meals but I rarely do it because I love it thick.

I will warn you that once you’ve had this ranch it will be very difficult to go back to the store bought ones!  Hope you enjoy!

Thanks for stopping by!!!